To Build a Man (From the original unfinished work To Chill the Bone)

In order to effectively build a man, you must first acquire yourself a proper laboratory (pronounced lab O ratory). The best places are in abandoned gothic castles. You then need to either buy or build the following items;

Three (3) Seventy five foot (75') tall iron lightning rods.
A pair of TV rabbit ears with an electrical current running through it (entirely unnecessary except that it looks really cool)
A black and white video camera (it is imperative that you have this to record your big moment)
A table with iron restraints on it (you REALLY need this to restrain your creature)
One (1) extra large electrical generator
One (1) overly large rusty cobwebbed switch

Once you have all of these items properly installed in your laboratory and arranged to your liking you can finally begin building your man. You should also have a good copy of Anatomy for Dummies in front of you. Before you start to construct said monstrosity you need to collect the proper parts:

One (1) right arm
One (1) left arm
One (1) right leg
One (1) left leg
One (1) trunk (the body kind)
One (1) pair of lungs
One (1) heart
One (1) head
One (1) brain

Affix the right arm to the right side of the trunk. Affix the left arm to the left side of the trunk. Attach right leg to right side of trunk. Attach  left leg to left side of trunk. Connect head. Insert brain in head. Insert lungs and heart into the trunk. The heart goes on the left side.

Wait for a suitably large lightning storm. During the storm have leaders from lightning rods to the person you constructed. When the creation starts to move scream IT'S ALIVE! as loud as possible.